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(Guitar introduction)
It's in the ninth inning; the bullpen receives the call.
You get to the mound now, and Art Howe hands you the ball.
He says "Get Giambi," but he doubles to right
And I say, "John, you look horrible tonight."
(Guitar interlude)
The bases are loaded; Posada steps up to hit
You miss with three pitches, the fans are about to spit.
If you don't throw strikes now, that will break the tie
And I say, "John, you seem horrible tonight."
You seem horrible because I see
Your pitching starts a fire.
And I know that there's a reason why
You haven't yet retired
Fred Wilpon loves you.
(Long guitar interlude)
The count's three and two now; you throw the ball towards the plate,
We look at the umpire and see how he calls your fate.
Your luck has held now; he called the pitch a strike,
I say, "Johnny, you were horrible tonight.
Oh John Franco, you were horrible tonight."
(Long guitar finish)
July 4, 2004: This comes one day after John Franco was brought into a tie game with two out and the bases empty in the top of the ninth inning, for the express purpose of facing Jason Giambi. Giambi doubled and Franco quickly proceeded to load the bases, and go 3-0 to Jorge Posada. After 2 called strikes, Franco threw a borderline pitch, and the umpire called strike three. The Mets won the game and Franco was the winning pitcher despite a horrible outing. If Eric Clapton were a Mets fan he'd have written this song.