Songs of Baseball
Baseball Idol (August 12, 2006)
Mets' catcher Paul Lo Duca was in the news recently. He is in the middle of a divorce, and has been accused of infidelity. There is also quite a bit of talk that he likes to frequent the track and bet on the horses. This old song, recorded originally by Ricky Nelson, seems to fit.
Will You Still Be Here Tomorrow? (June 9, 2006)
The Mets recently called up top prospect Lastings Milledge while Xavier Nady is recovering from an emergency appendectomy. Milledge has been playing so well, and has become such a fan favorite, that the fans are clamoring for the team to keep him after Nady returns. Here's my twist on a wonderful song that was written by Carole King and was a big hit for the Shirelles.
Mr. Golden Hair (May 27, 2006)
The Mets recently called Jose Lima up from the minors to take a spot in the starting rotation. He showed up with his hair bleached blond, and pitched about as well as Paris Hilton. After three starts, he was designated for assignment, but the memory of his golden locks lives on.
Jorge Julio's Pitch Leaves the Ballyard (April 15, 2006)
During the off-season, the Mets traded pitcher Kris Benson, and his wife, Anna, to Baltimore in exchange for relief pitcher Jorge Julio. Anna's inappropriate comments and inappropriate attire at Mets' functions in addition to her husband's mediocrity prompted Omar Minaya to make the deal. Julio, whose career has been in rapid decline, has shown no signs of turning it around in his first four appearance as a Met. In less than 4 innings, he has allowed 11 hits and 11 runs, including 3 homers. Yes, I know I recently used this Paul Simon tune when Julio Franco was signed, but I felt the urge to use it again.
Me and Julio in the Queens Ballyard (December 9, 2005)
After making big deals to bring Carlos Delgado, Billy Wagner and Paul Lo Duca to the Mets, general Manager Omar Minaya signed Jose Valentin and ageless wonder Julio Franco as spare parts. This Paul Simon song contemplates what Brooklyn native Lo Duca might think about the signings of Valentin and Franco. The Jake and Gaby mentioned in the first verse refer to Mike Jacobs and Gaby Hernandez, who were traded for Lo Duca.
Long Long Time (October 14, 2005)
It has now been five years since the Yankees won a World Series, with the Angels dashing their hopes in this year's AL Division Series. This Linda Ronstadt song sums up Mr. Steinbrenner's feelings. Unfortunately, I could not find a midi file to go with it.
Just Dropped In (July 2, 2005)
Kenny Rogers was recently suspended for a couple of on-field incidents involving TV cameramen. So I took the song that he recorded with the First Edition in the late 1960's and updated it to reflect his current circumstances. Oh, wait a minute. That was a different Kenny Rogers.
Yanks Rotation (May 8, 2005)
My friend Vee gets great pleasure when the Yankees lose. Their pitching staff is ins shambles. Two rookie starters made their major league debut for the Yankees in the same week. And these guys look as forgettable as the last time this happened in 1991. I'm sure you all remember Wade Taylor and Jeff Johnson. So, it is with great pleasure, I present Vee's tribute to The Who and the geniuses that traded for Kevin Brown and signed Jaret Wright. This is the third of three songs by three different authors that are posted to my page at the same time.
Omar's Theme (May 8, 2005)
My friend Syl has been watching with amusement how poorly the Yankees have been playing, with all their pitching problems. She wrote this song a couple of days prior to the Kentucky Derby. George Steinbrenner's horse was favored to win. Unfortunately for George, like his Yankees appear to be doing, the horse finished out of the money. This is the second of three songs by three different authors that are posted to my page at the same time.
Beat It (May 8, 2005)
My friend Mookster, who like many fellow Mets fans, has been disgusted with the performance of Tom Glavine since he signed with the Mets. So, he took it upon himself to write this piece to the tune of a Michael Jackson song. Personally, I'm disgusted with both Glavine's performance and Jackson's lifestyle. This is the first of three songs by three different authors that are posted to my page at the same time.
Go Away Jose (March 18, 2005)
Spring training is starting to get serious. Teams are starting to cut their rosters down getting ready for the 25-man limit on Opening Day. So what is in the baseball news? Jose Canseco's stupid book, and baseball players and executives summoned to testify before a Congressional committee. The price of gas is over $2.00 per gallon in most places, our soldiers are dying in the Middle East, and Congress has nothing better to worry about than baseball players using steroids. Whatever.
Dueling Pedros (December 18, 2004)
I did not write either of these songs. They were submitted to me by friends after the Mets signed pitcher Pedro Martinez to a free agent contract. Please let my friends Mookster (Viva Pedro Martinez) and Sylvia (Get Back) know how much you enjoy their work.
Traded for Heredia (December 4, 2004)
The big news in baseball was the steroid issue after it was revealed that Jason Giambi told a grand jury that he took steroids and Barry Bonds also testified that he took them too, although he stated that he thought they were something else. I covered that topic in May 2002 with a song called Sluggers Little Steroids. This topic is more mundane. For the last two seasons, Mike Stanton was a mostly innefective lefty coming out of the pen. Mets fans have been begging new General Manager Omar Minaya to trade him. And trade him, Minaya did. For Felix Heredia, one of the few lefties that are worse than Stanton. The Neil Diamond song found here seemed to work nicely.
Stupid Ways (November 20, 2004)
This is a contribution from my friend, Mookster, who, like many knowledgeable Mets fans is upset with new General Manager, Omar Minaya's continuing pursuit of Sammy Sosa. The original Carlos Santana song was a big hit when the Mets won tehir first championship in 1969. If you like the song, please let the Mookster know.
Wake Up Little Redbirds (October 27, 2004)
This song was written as the Red Sox have taken a 3-0 lead in the 2004 World Series. The Cardinals look like they are asleep. My friend Sylvia came up with the idea for this song. I think it is because she is a fan of Jim Edmonds and Albert Pujols.
Slip Slidin' Away (October 21, 2004)
In the 2004 American League Championship Series, the Yankees were 3 outs away from sweeping the Red Sox, who then stormed back to win an unprecedented four straight games, keeping the Yankees out of the World Series in what is undoubtedly the biggest post-season collapse in baseball history. I'll bet Paul Simon never thought that one of his songs would be used to describe the destruction of the Yankees.
Time of the Season (October 18, 2004)
Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez lost to the Yankees twice in September and called the Yankees his daddy. He pitched against them in Game 2 of the American League Championship Series, and although he pitched well he was done in by a John Olerud home run. I hate writing anything nice about the Yankees, but I felt an obligation in this case. Besides, Olerud played for the Mets a lot longer than he played for the Yankees.
(I Know) They're Losing Too (Otcober 2, 2004)
On September 25, 2004, the Cubs held the lead for the National League wild card. They had a 3-0 lead over the Mets with 2 out and the 9th inning, when a recently called-up rookie named Victor Diaz hit a three run homer. They lost the game in the 11th when another recently called-up rookie named Craig Brazell hit a homer. They proceeded to lose 5 out of the next 6, and by the end of the day on October 1, they were 2 games behind by the Giants and Astros with 2 games to play. Only a miracle will put the Cubs into the post-season.
Swingin' in the Wind (September 9, 2004)
As the Mets continued to play horribly and the promises of the Spring and early Summer faded into nothingness, one of the acquisitions of the previous winter, Mike Cameron, seemed to personify the plight of the team. He came to New York with a reputation of being the equal of Andruw Jones in the outfield, but somehow managed to drop several routine flies. He also seemed to have very little regard for the strike zone, killing potential rallies all season with both swinging strikeouts and called strikeouts. I'm not implying that Mike Cameron is the only reason for the Mets' demise. It's simply that his performance has echoed that of the team and he fits the song.
Murphy Man (September 6, 2004)
As of the date this was written, the Mets had lost 14 of their last 15 games. Nobody has been performing except recently called-up rookie, David Wright. The free fall seems to have come shortly after the passing of their legendary broadcaster, Bob Murphy. My friend Sylvia came up with this marvelous tune to Billy Joel's Piano Man to lament the Mets' plight, and I am honored that she allowed me to post it on my site.
The Pitch Gets Whacked (July 15, 2004)
The 2004 All-Star Game saw Roger Clemens and Mike Piazza paired as the starting battery for the National League. Their prior history is well documented. and suffice it to say that the relationship was antagonistic. Clemens was touched up for six runs in obe inning, including homers by Manny Ramirez and Alfonso Soriano. Did Piazza tip the pitches? We'll never know, but I had a little fun with a number by Elton John.
Horrible Tonight (July 4, 2004)
This comes one day after John Franco was brought into a tie game with two out and the bases empty in the top of the ninth inning, for the express purpose of facing Jason Giambi. Giambi doubled and Franco quickly proceeded to load the bases, and go 3-0 to Jorge Posada. After 2 called strikes, Franco threw a borderline pitch, and the umpire called strike three. The Mets won the game and Franco was the winning pitcher despite a horrible outing. If Eric Clapton were a Mets fan he'd have written this song.
What's His Face (May 24, 2004)
Mets manager Art Howe was being interviewed. He couldn't remember the name of young catcher-first baseman Jason Phillips, referring to him as What's His Face. Phillips responded by hitting homers in the next two games. The Fred in the song refers to Mets owner, Fred Wilpon.
Save the Save Chance for Me (May 14, 2004)
Mets' closer Braden Looper went three weeks without a save opportunity, before gaining saves in back to back games against the Diamondbacks. The reason for the lack of opportunity had less to do with the Mets poor play, but rather that there were several games in which the Mets scored too many runs in their last at bat to present Looper with the save opportunity, or that the team's setup men blew the lead, and consequently, the opportunity for Looper evaporated. The original song, by the Drifters, hit the top of the charts in 1960.
Mr. Wilpon (April 24, 2004)
Early in the season it is obvious that the Mets don't have the horses to compete in the National League East. This old song was popular not long after current Mets owner Fred Wilpon attended Lafayette High School in Brooklyn with a stud pitcher named Koufax. Perhaps you've heard of him.
Runs Runs Runs (April 10, 2004)
The New York Mets were next to last in the National League in runs scored in 2003. They scored 25 runs in their first three games in 2004, but managed to lose two of them, largely due to bullpen failures. My good friend Sylvia suggested this Beach Boys tune, and I ran with it.
The Karim Garcia Songbook (March 13, 2004)
The 2004 Spring Training brought former Yankees Karim Garcia and Shane Spencer to the Mets. One evening they were involved in an incident which included public urination by Garcia and an alleged assault on a young man who works in a Port St. Lucie pizza parlor. My friend Sylvia and I each found an appropriate Paul Simon tune to modify to commemorate this sorry incident.
(I Don't Think) Much Of Rose (January 6, 2004)
Here's a revelation. Pete Rose bet on baseball. Like everybody didn't know this before. He wants to sell books. I'm not impressed. And neither are Mickey Dolenz, Mike Nesmith, Peter Tork and Davy Jones.
Terminate Bill Singer (November 21, 2003)
Former 20-game winner Bill Singer was hired by the Mets as a superscout and fired less than two weeks later for making racists remarks to a female Dodgers executive whose family emigrated from China. What an idiot!
Undone (October 19, 2003)
The Red Sox haven't won a World Series since 1918. The Cubs haven't won since 1908. Both teams had a three runs lead, and only needed five outs to advance to the 2003 World Series. Both managers left their starting pitcher in too long. And both teams came undone. My friend Sylvia had the inspiration for this song, and wrote the bulk of it.
Old Man Zimmer (October 13, 2003)
I read something on line entiled Old Man Zimmer after his incident with Pedro Martinez in the 2003 American League Championship Series, and I couldn't resist taking an old show tune and adapting it.
Tuesday Afternoon (October 12, 2003)
On October 11, a Saturday, the Red Sox and Yankees played Game 3 of the American League Championship Series. It was a pretty disgisting display of a lack of sportsmanship that included a couiple of bench clearing brawls, a 72-year-old coach taking a swing at a 32-year-old pitcher, and an altercation in the Yankees bullpen with a member of Boston's grounds crew. Sunday's game was rained out, forcing Game 5 to be moved to Tuesday afternoon and giving me an excuse to ruin a marvelous song by the Moody Blues.
The Continuing Story of Robert Fick (October 9, 2003)
During the 2003 NLDS, the Braves' Robert Fick wilfully interefed with Cubs' first baseman Eric Karros' attempt to catch a throw, basically by straightarming him. He was fined and benched, and possibly cost his team a shot at winning the deciding game. And with a name like Fick, you know the puns are flowing. The song comes from the Beatles White Album.
The Sinking Ship Song (September 22, 2003)
As this song was written, the Mets had one victory sandwiched between a pair of eight game losing streaks. Mets fans couldn't wait for the season to end, so they no longer would have to watch Roger Cedeno misplay routine fly balls until 2004.
The Manager Song (September 11, 2003)
This song was the result of a discussion among fans about the best or most necessary qualities a manager could have. And my friend, Syl, encouraged me to write this song.
I'm Still Crouching (August 30, 2003)
Mike Piazza returned to the Mets in mid-August after a long stint on the disabled list. After much speculation that he would be moved to first base, he returned as a catcher and appeared not to have missed a beat. Elton John's song seems to sum it all up.
Sausage Race (July 11, 2003)
The last time Randall Simon was involved in a baseball controversy, he was not at fault. He was the player John Rocker referred to as a fat monkey. However, on July 9, 2003, Simon swung his bat at a Brewers' mascot who was taking part of the sausage race at Miller Park. His swing caused the young lady in the sausage suit, and one of her fellow sausages to trip and fall. They weren't seriously injured, but Mr. Simon needs to find other means of amusing himself. But I want to thank him, because any time I can write something to the tune of a song by Queen is a good thing.
Mr. Alomar (July 5, 2003)
On July 1, the Mets traded Roberto Alomar to the Chicago White Sox for three minor leaguers. Thus, the sad history of his tenure in New York came to a close. He will still get into the Hall of Fame, but his season and a half in a Mets uniform has seriously tarnished his repuatation and his legacy. I think it's appropriate to send him on his way with a song written and performed by two guys from Queens.
No Spanish Harlem (June 12, 2003)
Steve Phillips was fired today as the general manager of the New York Mets. Many of the veteran players that he brought in are either injured, or playing far below their expected capabilities. The main culprit appears to be Roberto Alomar, who looks like he just doesn't care. My friend Sylvia had the inspiration for this song, and wrote the bulk of it, and allowed me to finish it and put it on the website. It was actually written before Phillips was canned. Great job, Syl! As usual.
For a different perspective on Mr. Sosa, please check out Tom Scanlon's Sammy Sosa (I'm in Love with Baseball Now), written long before the cork controversy.
He's Corkin' (June 5, 2003)
On June 3, 2003, Sammy Sosa's bat shattered when he hit the ball. Unfortunately for Sammy, the umpire found cork in the fragments of the bat. Was it a batting practice bat that Sammy used inadvertently? I doubt it. Sammy's image has been seriously tarnished, and he'll havbe to live with that.
Help Me Make This Team All Right (May 6, 2003)
One month into the season, the Mets look like an old, tired team in need of rebuilding. Roberto Alomar and Mo Vaughn are well past their best days and untradeable. Mike Piazza and Armando Benitez may be the only players for whom the Mets can receive anything in return. It seems like it's time to rebuild.
Mando Cuando (April 22, 2003)
In the first three weeks of the season, Armando Benitez has managed to blow four save opportunities. My buddy, Richie, had an idea for this song, and my friend Sylvia ran with it and wrote it in record time. I'm simply a conduit for other people's ideas and talent.
Idiot's Delight (April 18, 2003)
The Hall of Fame was to hold a celebration honoring the 15th anniversary of the film Bull Durham. Unfortunately, the head of the Hall of Fame, Dale Petroskey, cancelled the celebration because of his disfavor with the anti-war position held by two of the movie's stars.
Puerto Rico (April 18, 2003)
From April 11-14, 2003, the Mets and Expos played 4 games in Hiram Bithorn Stadium in San Juan, Puerto Rico. These were the first of 22 games to played there by the Expos in 2003. The Mets lost all four games, despite having an excellent chance to win 3 of them. My good friend, Sylvia, contributed this number for my website.
Baerga In Disguise (April 12, 2003)
In December 2001, Roberto Alomar was traded to the Mets by the Cleveland Indians. Mets fan expected him to help the team win the pennant. Instead, he looked like the previous All-Star second baseman that the Mets obtained from the Indians, Carlos Baerga.
Chicken Runaway (March 16, 2003)
In a Spring Training game in 2002, Dodgers' pitcher Guillermo Mota deliberately hit Mike Piazza of the Mets with a pitch. There were some words later after both had left the game. A year later, Mota came inside with the first pitch and hit Piazza with the second, then ran into the dugout before Piazza and Jeromy Burnitz could reach him. This song calls Mota what he is.
Light Hitting Shortstop (March 7, 2003)
This song was inspired by a great musician named Carlos Santana, and a light-hitting shortstop from the 1980's named Rafael Santana, who have nothing in common but their surname.
I'm A Believer (March 4, 2003)
Mo Vaughn came to the Mets prior to the 2002 season, in somewhat less than the best shape of his life. After a poor season, he spent the winter of 2002-03 getting himself into better shape. Hopefully, a song written by Neil Diamond that became a big hit for the Monkees in 1966 will be a portent for the Mets in 2003.
Mockery (February 3, 2003)
As we head into the 2003 season, the Yankees seem to have cornered the market on starting pitchers. They also seem to broker deals to keep the Red Sox from getting anyone useful. The original tune was recorded by Inez and Charlie Foxx, but this rendition is based on the Carly Simon and James Taylor version.
Hats Off To Gary (January 18, 2003)
The Baseball Writers Association elected Eddie Murray and Gary Carter to the Baseball Hall of Fame. This song is for them.
The Ballad of Steve Phillips (January 15, 2003)
In the winter before the 2002 season, Mets GM Steve Phillips made significant trades and free agent acquisitions, obtaining the services of Roberto Alomar, Mo Vaughn and Roger Cedeno among others. The Mets finished last, and that led to the dismissal of manager Bobby Valentine. Many thought Phillips should have been fired as well. Instead, he has gone out and signed the likes of Tom Glavine, Cliff Floyd and Mike Stanton. My dear friend, and fellow Mets and Beatles fanatic, Sylvia wrote this song, perhaps as a warning to Mr. Phillips.
Nowhere Man (January 11, 2003)
Baseball commissioner Bud Selig did it again. He made a pronouncement that the All Star Game should determine home field advantage in the World Series. This goes along with previous proposals to move all the Eastern teams into one league and the rest of baseball to the other, the idea to contract two teams on the heels of one of the most exciting World Series ever played, and a negotiated labor agreement that solved absolutely nothing. Baseball fans, this Bud's certainly not for you.
Rey's Ticket to Ride (December 18, 2002)
On the evening of December 15, 2002, Rey Ordonez was traded from the Mets to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Despite some outstanding defense, for most Mets fans the trade didn't happen soon enough. My friend